Family relationships are strongly associated with youth well-being and thriving.
How to talk with your teen
The teenage years are full of change for both parents and teenagers. Not only are teens growing and changing physically, but they are developing their identity and becoming more independent.
It’s more important than ever to keep the lines of communication open. If your teen feels they can talk to you, then they know you will listen and consider their views, and chances are you have and will continue to have a healthy relationship. Learn more and get tips.
Emotion Coaching is a universal strategy for supporting the behavioural and emotional well-being
of children, adolescents and adults. It can be used as an ‘in the moment’ technique to connect
with your loved one, redirect behaviour and avoid or de-escalate outbursts. It can also be used to
support the development of emotional health in general.
Both HWDSB and HWCDSB have been rolling out training to staff, parents and caregivers. Check out these tips and scripts you can use.
Whether struggling to support the behavioural or emotion needs of their child/loved one, or lost in a spiral of fear, shame, helplessness or hopelessness, parents and caregivers can absolutely still be the strongest allies on their loved one’s journey to health. Mental Health Foundations provides resources for parents and caregivers.
What are Developmental Relationships?
Young people are more likely to grow up successfully when they experience developmental relationships with important people in their lives. Developmental relationships are close connections through which young people discover who they are, cultivate abilities to shape their own lives, and learn how to engage with and contribute to the world around them. Search Institute has identified five elements—expressed in 20 specific actions—that make relationships powerful in young people’s lives.
Developmental relationships between youth and parenting adults are consistently associated with multiple areas of well-being and thriving for young people, after controlling for demographics. Young people who have stronger relationships with their parenting adults are more likely to report:
- Greater social-emotional strengths, such as self-awareness, emotional competence, openness to challenge, and personal responsibility;
- Higher academic motivation and taking personal responsibility for their school success; and
- Stronger civic commitment, or seeing helping others as a personal responsibility.
Young people in families dealing with adversity do better if they have stronger relationships with their parenting adults.
Take the Relationship Checklist
Express Care
9 Ways to Express Care | Search Institute
- Ask follow-up questions so you both know you’re interested and following what is important to them.
- Find satisfaction in doing things for and with your child, even if these things wouldn’t otherwise be important to you.
Challenge Growth
How to Challenge Growth in Young People | Search Institute
- Expect your children to do their best, even when doing something they don’t really like.
- Teach your children that making mistakes is a part of learning.
Expand Possibilities
Expand Possibilities: Connections that Help Kids Reach Their Potential | Search Institute
- Find ways for your children to spend time with people who are different from your family.
- Encourage your children to try things they might be interested in. Maybe even try it together.
Provide Support
How to Support Young People | Search Institute
- When you teach your child a skill, demonstrate it by breaking it into smaller steps.
- When your children are not getting the help they need, find people who can address the issue.
Share Power
The Power of Sharing Power | Search Institute
- Include your children in thinking about decisions, even when you have to make the final call.
- When you disagree, take time to understand each other’s point of view.
MORE IDEAS for families from Keep Connected and from the booklet Bringing Developmental Relationships Home: Tips and Relationship Builders.
Tips for Building Healthy Relationships with your teen
The Centre for Addiction & Mental Health (CAMH) offers tips for building healthy relationships with your teenagers
- Be honest and open.
- Be authoritative not authoritarian in your parenting style.
- Think “harm reduction,” not zero tolerance.
- Don’t believe everything you read or hear.
- Monitor and supervise your teen’s activities with parental sensitivity.
- Accentuate the Positive.
- Encourage your teen to be involved in extracurricular activities.
- Encourage flexibility in gender roles and behaviour.
- Address any abusive or inappropriate language with a firm and clear message.
- Be an active participant (to a point) in your teen’s life.
The 5 Love Languages
In his #1 New York Times bestseller, The 5 Love Languages®, Dr. Gary Chapman presents a simple truth: relationships grow better when we understand each other. Everyone gives and receives love differently, but with a little insight into these differences, we can be confidently equipped to communicate love well. Have your teen take the quiz.