If it was a challenge to inspire or motivate your teen prior to the global pandemic, chances are it just got a whole lot worse.
According to Psychology Today; Motivation is one of the driving forces behind human behaviour. It fuels competition and sparks social connection. Its absence can lead to mental illnesses such as depression. Motivation encompasses the desire to continue striving toward meaning, purpose, and a life worth living.
Every teen is different, so the way to inspire one, won’t be the same for another. It starts with understanding your teen and what is important to them.
Finding the “Spark”
Whether we call it a purpose, spark, interest, or dream, we know that it can play an important role in motivating a young person.
Search Institute developed a concept called “sparks”: the interests and passions young people have within them
that light a fire in their lives and express the essence of who they are and what they offer to the world.
Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation
To motivate teenagers, experts suggest that you focus on the intrinsic rewards of their goals. They also say that everyone has different intrinsic values, and that what may seem rewarding for you – such as the feeling of a job well-done – might not have the same effect on a teenager. Find what a teenager values, and help him connect that to his goals. The best way to do this is to see if your teenager is devoting a lot of effort to something, even something that seems trivial. Read more.
Intrinsic motivation is a drive that comes purely from within; it’s not due to any anticipated reward, deadline, or outside pressure. For example, people who are intrinsically motivated to run do so because they love the feeling of running itself, and it’s an important part of their identity. Extrinsic motivation can increase motivation in the short term, but over time it can wear down or even backfire. By contrast, intrinsic motivation is powerful because it is integrated into identity and serves as a continuous source of motivation.
Extrinsic motivation is any reason someone does work other than the joy of doing the work itself. Anything promised for completing the task or received as a result of completing the task are extrinsic motivators. An extrinsic motivator needs three elements to be successful, according to research by psychologist Victor Vroom: expectancy (believing that increased effort will lead to increased performance), instrumentality (believing that a better performance will be noticed and rewarded), and valence (wanting the reward that is promised).
More Tips
- How to keep your child motivated when studying: 11 TIPS FOR PARENTS
- Motivating your teen to develop new skills
- 11 ways to get your teen to exercise
Underlying Conditions?
Sometimes we’re quick to label a teen unmotivated or lazy, when there is something else going on. If you’re not sure, or concerned, the first step is a visit to the doctor to determine whether further assessment is needed.
Kids will do well if they can.
Good parenting and good teaching mean being responsive to the hand you’ve been dealt.”
Dr. Ross W. Greene
Dr. Ross Greene is the originator of the research-based approach called Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) -understanding and helping behaviourally challenging kids. The approach sets forth two major tenets. First, challenging behaviour in kids is best understood as the result of lagging cognitive skills (in the general domains of flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance, and problem solving) rather than as the result of passive, permissive, inconsistent, non-contingent parenting. And second, the best way to reduce challenging episodes is by working together with the child – collaborating – to solve the problems setting them in motion in the first place (rather than by imposing adult will and intensive use of reward and punishment procedures). Learn more.
