What to do when your child comes out to you
Dos
- Tell your child that you love and accept them for who they are
- Support your child’s gender expression by using their correct pronouns, name, and affirming that they can dress however they want
- Advocate for your child in the face of homophobia or transphobia from other people
- Educate yourself on 2SLGBTQIA+ issues
Don’ts
- Tell your child that it is “just a phase”
- Try to change their identity
- Ignore their request to use a different name and/or pronouns
- Allow homophobia or transphobia to occur in the conversations around you, whether your child is present or not
Find more dos and don’ts at Egale.
Other Helpful Links
Talking about Sexual and Gender Identities with Youth
Talking openly about sexual and gender identities with your youth as they go through their own phase of self-discovery, will help them know they have a safe space to talk about their sexuality. When talking about it, follow these tips:
- Listen more than you talk
- Communicate with your youth in a medium that they’re comfortable with (eg. text, video call, etc)
- Ask open-ended questions
- Start with “I love you no matter what.”
- Teach your youth to stand up to bullying of any kind, and supply them with these skills
- Provide your child with information and resources if they need support
- Keep an open-mind
- Ask questions that allow your youth to express their feelings
- Ask a friend, social worker, family member, etc to assist in the conversation
- Keep the conversation going
Programs
HWDSB Transcend Parent Group: Transcend is a social and support group for parents/guardians/caregivers of transgender, non-binary, gender non-conforming and gender questioning children and youth. Group meetings are held once/month for two hours to provide an opportunity to share the ups, downs and questions about your child’s gender identity, gender fluidity and transition with a welcoming group of parents/caregivers, with support from a facilitator with lived experience who works in the Hamilton trans community. Please contact dbyers@hwdsb.on.ca.
Resources
LGBTQ Youthline is a free service provided for youth by youth, led by Queer, Trans, Two-Spirit youth that affirms and supports the experiences of LGBTQ+ youth (29 and under) across Ontario.
1-800-268-9688: toll free peer support phone line.
647-694-4275: text for peer support.
The MSU Pride Community Centre is a service of the McMaster Students Union. They provide a contact point for McMaster students that may identify as LGBTQ2SI+ but anyone may access their services. They provide one on one peer support, support groups, educational events, advocacy, and social events.
McMaster University Student Centre, Room 219/221, 1280 Main Street West, Hamilton
Project Youth Affirm is a Cognitive Behaviour Therapy based LGBTQ+ youth and adults to learn stress coping skills, and meet other LGBTQ+ youth and adults in your area.
speqtrum hamilton is a youth funded and youth run organization. speqtrum hosts workshops led by queer and trans peers and elders. They are committed to being accessible, anti-oppressive and participant-driven.
Through education, visibility, awareness, and supportive programming, the Positive Space Network envisions a future in which diverse LGBTQ+ youth, individuals, and families live in a welcoming and supportive community.
They work in the Halton Region (Burlington, Oakville, Milton, Acton, and Georgetown), and provide 2SLGBTQ+ youth and trans specific programming.
Compass Community Health is a community health centre located in the north end of Hamilton. They have an LGBTQ+ advocate who runs programming for 2SLGBTQIA+ folks, and who can support people in navigating services in Hamilton and at Compass.
Kyle’s Place is a non-binary prioritized space that is committed to fostering community, solidarity, support, advocacy and access to resources, particularly for community members who are marginalized due to race, class, age, mental health, abilities.
At HIV/AIDS Resources and Community Health (ARCH), we dream of a time and place where everyone is free to live healthy, stigma-free, vital lives.
To achieve this vision, we provide programs, services, education and support to people living with, affected by, and at risk of, HIV and AIDS in Guelph, Wellington County, Dufferin, Grey and Bruce Counties.
Trans Student Educational Resources is a youth-led organization dedicated to transforming the educational environment for trans and gender non-conforming students through advocacy and empowerment. Founded in 2011, it is the only national organization led by trans youth.
