Social skills are used to communicate with others on a daily basis in a variety of ways including verbal, nonverbal, written and visual. Social skills are also referred to as interpersonal or soft skills.
Whether we call them soft skills, social/emotional skills, social/emotional intelligence or growth mindset, there is a consensus among researchers and practitioners that we need certain abilities to achieve our fullest potential at school, in our professional careers, and in our private lives. These abilities help us recognize and manage our emotions, cope with obstacles and life challenges, and enhance communication skills and good interpersonal relations (including empathy).
What are some tips for healthy communication?
Healthy communication takes practice and planning. Here are some tips to help you and your child get started.
- Use “I statements.” Say things like, “I feel upset when you ___” instead of, “You’re making me upset.” Steer clear of blaming or accusing them of purposely trying to hurt you.
- Be clear and direct. No one can read your mind, so tell them what you think, feel, and need.
- Don’t push aside your feelings. Bring up things that bother you early on so they don’t build up and become bigger problems.
- Build trust. Unless someone has given you a reason not to, believing that they’re telling you the truth and assuming that they mean well helps establish trust.
- Ask questions. If you don’t understand what they’re saying or why, ask questions. Don’t make assumptions.
- Talk in person. It’s really easy to misunderstand or misinterpret a text message or email. Talking in person (or through video chat) will allow you to hear their tone of voice and see their body language.
- Don’t yell. Getting angry or defensive during an argument is totally normal. But if you’re feeling upset or angry, take a break until you both cool off.
- Be willing to apologize. Everyone makes mistakes. Saying you’re sorry (and meaning it) goes a long way in helping to move on after a fight.
Resources and Helpful Links
- 50+ Social Skills for Teens: Helpful list for teens with autism (learningforpurpose.com)
- Effective Communication – Improving your Social Skills (Anxiety Canada)
- 12 Ways To Improve Social Skills
- Social and Emotional Learning: An Activity Toolkit
